Don't you wish people would just say it? 'It's not me, it's you.' Those on the receiving end of a breakup seek closure in order to move on. They want to know what went wrong and what they could have done to change things (if anything at all). Was it something they said or something they did?
Those on the giving end of a breakup want to say as little as possible and make it as painless as possible. Is there anything painless about a breakup? Even mutual endings produce wounds.
So wouldn't it make more sense to just be honest and say, 'it's not me, it's you'? Not in a malicious way, but in a kind, loving way. It's going to hurt no matter what, but this way the person on the receiving end isn't spending countless sleepless nights going over every detail of the relationship wondering when and where it went wrong. Hating themselves and not even knowing why (they shouldn't hate themselves regardless).
We spend so much time avoiding pain. It is a natural part of the human experience. Yet we don't deal with it very well. Or at least I don't.
I want to move on from past hurts. And be a stronger person. Regardless if, it was me and not them.
These feet have taken me far.
They are strong and supportive.
They have taken me to many parts of the world.
They have felt the soil of many lands.
Sometimes I think they can help me out run my thoughts.
Oh how I wish they could.
Written June 29, 2016
Summer hits and I feel lonely. Friends are off to the lake or weekend get-a-ways. I try to convince myself that I will get much done around the house. That its ok to be alone. It doesn't mean I have to be lonely.
I don't want to spend my weekends wishful thinking or wondering about the what ifs. I want to spend my time in contentment. This is my life -- the way You have meant it to be. I do not want to be angry with You, but I am.
I am so afraid of the future. So afraid of being alone (lonely). Ironically, this fear keeps me from moving forward.
I see the joy in others when they talk about their significant others. And how they have built a life together. I want that joy.
I am so desperate for that joy.
Today: Like most, I'm trying to figure things out. Sometimes that's day by day, moment by moment, and even breath by breath.