When I think of the word gratitude, having a 'thankful heart' comes to mind. For me, it is the little things that matter most. A hug from someone you haven't seen in awhile. An email or text from a friend saying 'Hi, I've been thinking about you'. These small actions show more love than any gift could ever offer. These small actions will remain in my heart for a lifetime.

Today I am thankful for: the time I was able to spend with my family in Calgary this past weekend.
Today I am thankful for: beauty among the construction.
Today I am thankful for: an appointment with a psychologist after such a long wait time.
Today I am thankful for: a few laughs this morning despite a rough night last night.
Today I am thankful for: brunch with old friends and quiet time to recharge for the week.
Today I am thankful for: my physical health.
Today I am thankful for: an employer that invests in its employees.
Today I am thankful for: a few quiet moments to myself.
Today I am thankful for: a house.
Today I am thankful for: a stress free day in Toronto.
Today I am thankful for: the ability to be mindful and live in the moment.
Today I am thankful for: a fun filled day, and all the wonderful messages on my birthday.
Today I am thankful for: a peaceful mini holiday.
Today I am thankful for: for my GP, she is such a kind soul.
Today I am thankful for: long lasting friendships.
Today I am thankful for: the thoughtfulness of a coworker (and her un-birthday gift).
Today I am thankful for: surprise visits from the bestie.
Today I am thankful for: old friends, good music, and a few drinks.
Today I am thankful for: my parents.
Today I am thankful for: kind words reminding me I am beautiful.
Today I am thankful for: pushing through one day at a time.
Today I am thankful for: God's beauty.
Today I am thankful for: witnessing the final goodbye of a family and a father who is now in a better place.
Today I am thankful for: time to myself catching up on podcasts while cleaning.
Today I am thankful for: encouraging words from a friend.
Today I am thankful for: honesty.
Today I am thankful for: encouraging words from a stranger.
Today I am thankful for: a good cup of tea.
Today I am thankful for: a quiet evening on the patio.
Today I am thankful for: the beautiful flowers I received from my boss.

Coming to grips with the reality of single-hood (which lets be honest has always been a reality) is harder than I imaged it would be. I've never spent more than a few months with someone in my life. I've never lost the 'love of my life'. Yet my heart sinks deeper and deeper. The wall that I've tried so hard to breakdown, finds a way to rebuild itself. It turns out bricks and mortar are harder to destroy than originally thought.

But on my birthday, my heart is full.

​About a month ago, I decided to take a trip to Toronto to see the Blue Jays play. I've only ever watched one live baseball game, New York Mets vs. Seattle Mariners. It was in Seattle on another solo trip - where I was much more anonymous.

I planned to buy a ticket in a random section away from too much action as I wanted to be inconspicuous. Moses, a friend from childhood, who now works for the Blue Jays had a different idea for where I would sit. He got me a ticket close to the action.

Today was full of surprises.

He went above and beyond and got me a sneak peak at batting practice, and gave me a private tour of the clubhouse after the game! I'll admit it, I became the biggest fangirl when I met one of the players (Jose Bautista)!

I am beyond grateful.

At first I wasn't so sure about this (trip). But the more I thought about it the more I realized I cannot stop living because I am single. I cannot stop living because I do not have a companion. I cannot stop living.

Friday, June 3
An emotional torrent is running though my mind. I had no idea these thoughts and feelings were still with me. I cried within the first few minutes of my first appointment with her.

I am reminded this is a journey. I may never make it to my destination, but sometimes the scenery along the way is more interesting.

Saturday, June 11
Day before my birthday (usually causes anxiety within me)
There is a peace about me today. I am so grateful. I hope this means I am growing. That I can weather any storm.