The biggest step I have taken is opening up my heart. Not to a single person. But many. You who have been on this journey with me. I appreciate the silent prayers, the encouragement, the love.
As a child I never let myself be heard. I held all in. At some point I said no more. That point was in my late twenties. The first time I hit publish was the scariest. No one knew who I really was. I didn’t even know at the point. I still worry what people think. That insecurity will always be there. I live with it. And it is this insecurity that has me thinking lately maybe I share too much. Maybe I scare people off. Maybe they think my anxiety is all consuming. That I can’t function. That it would be too hard to develop a friendship or relationship with me.
I make no apology for sharing. But at the same time I have to forgive myself for doubting. For letting the lies have any sort of power. Every day I take that step.
Today: Like most, I'm trying to figure things out. Sometimes that's day by day, moment by moment, and even breath by breath.