I Am

It’s not all doom and gloom. Not all thoughts are that of impending death. I actually don’t think about my own death. On occasion I do think about my parents, siblings, nieces, and nephews. I wonder what kind of people 'my babies' will turnout to be, how I don't want them to grow up (have you looked at the current: social, cultural, economic, and environmental climate lately), how I would be lost without my family. I don’t always show them how much they mean to me, but they are my world.

The rest of the time I pay attention to the mundane thoughts. We are said to have 25,000 to 50,000 thousand thoughts a day. Can you imagine! I can. They run through my consciousness, causing me to pause at every moment. I don't have the luxury of letting them pass through my unconsciousness, something always seems to place them just where I can see them. Day in and day out there is a constant dialog. It’s no wonder I can feel exhausted at times.

"What am going to have for supper. What am I going to wear. I am so tired, how am I going to make it through the day"., my brain.

I'm happy to say, I can brush away most of my negative self talk. This is only possible with the tools I gained from my psychologist. And when I'm doing really well, I am able to believe the evidence that those such thoughts are not true. And start believing, I am strong.