Three years ago today. My first solo trip. After I booked the ticket, it was too late to change my mind.
Saw this quote today, which resonated with me, "It's okay to be afraid, because you can't be brave or courageous without fear" - Dave Chappelle.
I'm not saying this trip was brave, but it was something I had to do to overcome insecurities.
Looking forward to the next trip! mnd xo
The mind-body connection has become more apparent to me over the past few months. I was frustrated with how my body was changing over the winter. I joked that I was in hibernation mode and come summer all would be well.
In November, my doctor found a common bacteria in my stomach after doing some blood work. Most people have this bacteria, and it usually goes unnoticed. In some however, it can cause severe, sharp stomach pain, and swelling, among other things. I was prescribed a seven day round of antibiotics. I felt amazing afterwards. The daily cramps were gone. I hoped this was the end to all of my stomach issues and I wouldn't have any more going forward.
For the most part I was better. But I added to my discomfort, by eating a diet high in carbohydrates. After months of feeling uncomfortable in my own skin, I decided to take action. I was unwilling to buy a new pairs of jeans because I loved bread and pasta too much.
In ApriI, I sought out the help of a nutritionist. After an initial consultation I was on my way. I would meet with her every couple of weeks, and send pictures and reports of how I was doing.
My goals changed slightly, I was looking to improve my body in order to improve my brain.
“For decades, researchers and doctors thought that anxiety and depression contributed to these problems. But our studies and others show that it may also be the other way around,” - The Brain-Gut Connection
In just a few days I was feeling the benefits of my lifestyle change. I am still in awe of how quickly things began to turn around.
I'm not saying the change in my diet has cured me. What I am saying is:
When the thing you want the most is slipping away from you, it eats away at your very soul. It tells you, you are not enough. It tells you, don't even bother. It tells you, you wasted too much time. It weighs heavy on your heart day in and day out.
It has become increasingly important for me to remind myself that I am enough. And although my life is not where I had planned for this chapter, I am in this spot for a reason.
And when I forget, I peek down at my wrist.
Today: Like most, I'm trying to figure things out. Sometimes that's day by day, moment by moment, and even breath by breath.