I gave myself permission to be. Be just where I was. It was uncomfortable. It was scary. But I made it through. This time was gifted to me. I know that sounds strange. I would not have believed it, had I not been through this journey. I never wanted the mess. I never wanted the tears. I never wanted the deep despair.

But through the mess, tears, and despair I managed to make something of it all. I'm able to love more deeply, cherish the little things, and empathize with those around me. 

I have made it through this in-between and will await the next. 

Live Fully - what does this mean to you?

For me it means despite my situation I look for the positives in life (it took a long time for me to get to this point). It means not comparing myself to my neighbours, coworkers, friends, or even the person walking down the street wearing the latest fashion trend (which to be honest I don't even know what the latest fashion trends are).

For me it means living within my means.  It's means not letting jealousy of others get me down. It's easy to look at the exterior and not know what others have been through, just as they don't know what I have been through.

For me it means working for the things I want and not having it handed to me. True joy comes from sacrifice.

"It's a story about us, people, being persuaded to spend money we don't have on things we don't need to create impressions that won't last on people we don't care about." Ted Talk, 2014 - Tim Jackson: An Economic Reality Check

I'm choosing to live fully today and everyday. I hope you will too.

I don't want to be strong. I don't want to be brave. I just want to live with peace and stillness in my heart.

It takes more than wanting. It takes more than hoping. It takes action, yes action, to have peace and stillness.

The storm that raged for so long within me has past. My mind is calm. This is what it feels like to have peace.