Written June 29, 2016
Summer hits and I feel lonely. Friends are off to the lake or weekend get-a-ways. I try to convince myself that I will get much done around the house. That its ok to be alone. It doesn't mean I have to be lonely.
I don't want to spend my weekends wishful thinking or wondering about the what ifs. I want to spend my time in contentment. This is my life -- the way You have meant it to be. I do not want to be angry with You, but I am.
I am so afraid of the future. So afraid of being alone (lonely). Ironically, this fear keeps me from moving forward.
I see the joy in others when they talk about their significant others. And how they have built a life together. I want that joy.
I am so desperate for that joy.
Today: Like most, I'm trying to figure things out. Sometimes that's day by day, moment by moment, and even breath by breath.