Over the last couple of weeks, even months, I have felt neither up or down. Just middle of the road. But the last few days I have been a little on edge. Reasons unknown. This past Thursday I had a terrible sleep which is not uncommon, however this time it affected me greatly. I was on edge all day. Close to tears, irritable, annoyed.
I worry (what's new) about when I am finally off medication. Will I be able to cope. I haven't seen my counsellor in months. I exercise on and off. More off than on. Will I just fall back into my old habits of avoidance and unnecessary worry. The answer is most likely yes.
One thing that is keeping me going is the emergence of spring and summer (although if you live in Saskatchewan, spring still looks far off). I promised myself I would do more things for me. Day trips to who knows where. Weekend retreats. Anything to get out of the city - not to forget my problems, but to gain a new perspective.
I'm going to take care of myself. Or better yet I'm going to let God take care of me. I read this the other day and it somehow made things seem a little less scary.
'Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take.' Proverbs 3: 5-6
Today: Like most, I'm trying to figure things out. Sometimes that's day by day, moment by moment, and even breath by breath.