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KNOW THIS. YOU MATTER . MND XO

Fight or Flight

3/2/2018

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I’m participating in a meditation study. I’m excited to see how this will change my life.
...
The last time I had an appointment with my therapist, I told her “I can handle the anxiety, it’s the depression that kills me. I cannot imagine being 50, 60, 70 and still living with this” I'm paraphrasing here.

Although thoughts still swirl around a million miles a minute, they are no longer negative (well most of the time). But when depression hits. It’s a ton of bricks hitting me in the chest after I have just climbed out of the valley. I look back one last time hoping to celebrate, when I realize there are bigger valleys on the horizon. I am too fatigued to even cry. I feel nothing.

After a while I remove the bricks that half cover me like a blanket protecting me from the elements. It takes some time. I begin to feel like myself again and go on to tackle the next valley, looking forward to summit the next mountain.
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At our first mediation session we each shared our reasons for being there. My heart sank as I listened to everyone. Especially a few (older) women. I saw that I will never escape this. I saw too, there are ways I can mitigate the pain, rewire my brain to not always be in a state of fight or flight, and bring my body back into balance. mnd xo
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    I am a daughter, sister, auntie, wife and friend.

    ​Like most, I'm trying to figure things out. Sometimes that's day by day, moment by moment, and even breath by breath.

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